relief and disappointment

So the buyers backed out last night.

(pause...let out a collective sigh)

But despite the disappointment of the waiting and wondering and stressing finally coming to a head, I am relieved...like a deflated balloon. These last few weeks have been heinous at times, not physically speaking so much, but mentally. I worry...and worry and stress and stress and go through every case scenario possible. And with this culmination of events I am decidedly ready to breathe. I wasn't much looking forward to packing up our house in the next week or so to be out by the end of the month--no new house to move in to because we'd just started looking on Monday. I had resigned myself to the fact that I would just hold off on preschool (surely making my daughter fall drastically behind her peers due to my lack of parenting/planning) and move in with my mom while our household items sat stored in some POD--the storage location of which i hadn't figured out yet.

I have to admit I was nervous about everything at that point because so many things seemed to be getting in the way of our stars aligning. I am not fixed on the notion that there is a knock-you-over reassurance when finding a house; however, despite seeing several nice homes which would serve us well in the future, I didn't feel that CLICK...like 'yes, i can imagine us here.' And despite my inclination to stress in general, so many other little things seemed to just not sit right.
And so I sit here now and bask in the probably fleeting moments of relief and serenity until hopefully another offer comes along and the whole process starts over again. I get to enjoy my cute, little house for a little while yet to come and am grateful for times that things work and sometimes don't work out.