Serenity Now...Insanity Later

I'm actually just stalling in getting ready for bed. It's one of those things that I wish could be done with the snap of my fingers, but then again, there's a lot of things that a finger snap would be useful for. That reminds me of the movie, "Click", with Adam Sandler--it has a very good message reminding us humans that it's the little, seemingly meanless and mundane things that make up everyday life, that make up our lives. without those little things, what would our life be like? We'd miss out on so much and want to have it all back. Good flick.
This train of thought goes back to my blog title--a classic Seinfeld quote. As I lay next to Lily's bed a moment ago, rubbing her back in efforts to get her to sleep, I listened. This was already the second time I'd been back to her bedside because once again, she'd gotten up after I thought she was asleep for the night 'needing' a drink and telling me she was poopy. (she wasn't). She is a classic procrastinator when it comes to going to bed...but that's another topic. Thus, back to listening. I heard the outside sounds first--a dog barking, a car driving down the street, and then the inside sounds--the heater turning on and the little creaks inside the walls. Then I heard the light, rhythmic breathing of Zoe, peacefully sleeping. Then Lily, too, started breathing more deeply and slowly. At last! she's asleep! But no, next I hear little whispers, hardly audible, as if she's having a conversation under her breath. she's in her own little world, and I think, this is my serenity--sharing in this little moment of an everyday occurrence, cherishing the fact that I can witness the peacefulness of my two sweet babies. I know it won't last long, that my insanity of everyday motherhood will return, but for now I am content to sit in awe that these two precious angels are MINE, that these memories are mine to hold precious, even if no one else can understand their significance.
It's like that little poem says, 'the cobwebs and dusting can wait because now i'm rocking my babes to sleep.' Oh, how I wish I could pause and even rewind time--relive these little moments which already are gone. Pretty soon my little Zoe will be Lily's age, and I know how fast it sneaks up on me because it happened with Lily. Maybe in eternity, when we get to make our own worlds, we'll get to live in each moment--with no dimension of time. We will all be every part of ourselves at all ages and stages. Mind boggling yet kind of fun to meditate on.
And, to keep my insanity at bay, I have to note that I finished the crossword puzzle in the newspaper--a rarity. I can usually fill in most of the blanks, but there's always a few clues that are completely beyond my schooling or knowledge. But today I got them all! I always tell Andrew when he's complaining that I'm yet again working on the daily crossword, that it's my duty to myself and my brain. It's been expertly proven that doing brain puzzles helps to stave off Alzheimers. (or so I'm told--and that's my story and I'm stickin to it!)
And I'm reminded again, of a 'Seinfeld-ism' when Elaine says to Jerry, "You know, I often wonder what you'll be like when you're old and senile," to which Jerry replies, "I'm looking forward to it, " and she comes back with, "yeah, I think it'll be a really smooth transition for you." And in all of us, there's that bit of insanity waiting for old age or whatever to fully manifest itself. And if all of us are insane, none of us will be.