Thursday, July 31, 2008

Ambition and patience

I've always considered one of my greater weaknesses to be lack of ambition. I have no desire to seek ambitious aspirations for the most part. I can if I have to or the opportunity falls upon me, but I don't actively go out looking for ways to be ambitious. Sad, I know.
But lately, my unambitious drives have not been my bother. I have found myself being TERRIBLY impatient. PATIENCE...another big weakness of mine. I had heard at some point in my life that one's threshold for patience somehow becomes higher when you have children. HA! I laugh at this seeming fallacy. Yes, I love my children. Yes, I realize they are little children, not small adults and yes, they are learning...etc. etc. etc.
However, this does not displace the fact that I am an adult with a great many weaknesses, and despite my logical deductions for why kids are kids, I still grow so wary sometimes of explaining for the umpteenth time what 'that man is doing' or why 'anilla icehweem' is not the best choice for a filling and nutritious breakfast. It's definitely going to be a lifelong (and beyond) virtue that will try me in ways I dare not imagine.
For now, I try not to be too ambitious (ha!) and expect myself to become this patient person overnight, but I am pleased in the fact that I can at least give myself a break sometimes and say, 'hey! you're only human...just keep on trying.'
(and yes, one more story really does mean 'just one more story', and no, coloring all over your hands is not the best way to ensure mom stays happy.)
I'm hanging in there and relishing the quiet times at night when I just get to be my unambitious, impatient self and be okay with it.
(and if that damn fly lands on me ONE more time....)

2 comments:

Sarah said...

It is so good to read of another Mom who feels just like I do. Countless times of saying the SAME thing! I decided (although I'd never say this outloud to my children...) that my first was sent to me to help me find patience...and the second's constant smiles were sent to me to remind me that things will be o.k. in the meantime. Hang in there. And GET that fly! Haha!

Michelle D said...

Jill - you are fabulous! Such my kindred spirit!

I had a similar day with Sam the other day - whine, whine, whine! I can't stand it anymore!!! I didn't curse nearly as much before I had kids (is that sad??).

LOVED your ending!